Joe: Fine, whatever. How about investing? I’m a pretty bad investor, but one time I made this particularly bad investment when I was told I was getting a special bonus that
Below is a word-by-word transcript of an interview with Joe, who insisted on being interviewed as "The Most Fascinating Person in the History of Humanity" but who is anything but.
--I can’t believe I’m doing this This interview is going to be a complete waste of time.
It's not clear where the pull towards public service comes from, notwithstanding all my love for money.
My education probably has something to do with it. My alma mater, Boston College / Boston College Law School, instilled a call for service through an education grounded in
I am an unabashed capitalist. I have helped mega-corporations raise billions of dollars. I'm an investor who shows little interest other than stock prices. I'm unapologetic in my pursuit of money and I don't particualrly think there's anything wrong with that.
My college friend was always a liberal, but most people become one in college.
I was wired in politics from middle school, but most of my pre-college friends weren't. Yet two months into college, when we got together for the first time since high school graduation, they'd
Marc was one of my closest friends, ever since we went to the same high school, then to the same college. I hadn't seen much of him after I moved to Japan, but he was on the very short list of people I always caught up with whenever I was back in
If you're reading this, the odds are extraordinarily high that you don't walk around carrying business cards. That's because they're a lost art where English is the primary language.
On the other hand, the tradition is alive and well in Japan.
With the holiday season fast approaching, I hope you are in good spirits.
This year, I’d like to talk a bit about shogi, the Japanese variation of chess. You may be thinking “but you do that every year,” but this year I hope to give some context to my annual report on how
I have a friend who had understood the importance of a fit even when I didn't. He had a specific field of law that he focused on not only in law school but also in college, so he applied exclusively to law firms that specialized in that field. Not surprisingly, he successfully landed
Then there's the difference in the months of the year that the Japanese and Americans go watch film.
Summer, to be sure, is the period for blockbuster movies in Japan as it is in America, but the definition of "summer" differs quite a bit between the two markets. In
The United States is undoubtedly the king of the film market, but it turns out Japan is no slouch. Until being passed by India recently, Japan was the third largest film market in the world in terms of revenue.
Considering that Japan trails only the United States (of Hollywood), China (of 1.3 billion people) and
It's what I call fame through association, and it's exactly what I want.
This is why I'm gregarious with every new person I meet, try to become best friends with everybody I form a bond with, and never turn down an opportunity to hang out with anyone who offers.
Perhaps because I spent most of 2017 thinking about time and how there is never enough of it, I dedicated 2018 to making the most of my limited time seeking to accomplish something new and concrete outside of my day job.
When I think about our friendship, I obviously start with our shared high school experience.
Ah, those memories from teenage years. There's no end to the stories of how terribly we used to behave, most especially to teachers. Yeah we were terribly juvenile, but the stuff we used to do back then were pretty witty,
I consider myself to be a common man, but I confess, over the last couple years I've come to own a couple watches that defy common sense.
As a person who is uniquely positioned to explain so-called luxury watches in common sense terms, I offer this Common Sense Guide to Uncommon Sense Watches.
When I think of lifelong friendships, I think about us.
You’re probably the oldest friend I have. You've known me since the days I barely spoke English, which is hard to believe because these days, I have trouble convincing people that I speak another language.
There's something unique about a childhood friendship. It's formed before we become identified
Despite my affliction with Airplane Incidents Obsession Syndrome, I enjoy traveling by air. I've flown domestically and internationally, in business and in economy, and on U.S. and foreign airlines. What I've discovered through all that flying is that U.S. airlines are unbearably, unbelievably awful.
In fact, I'd rather fly 14 hours on economy class from New
This past year, I thought about “time” quite a bit.
In June and September, two of my college roommates got married, and their wedding ceremonies became an occasion for the four roommates to get together for the first time in years. As we bantered much in the same way as we had in college, I
Joe Michael Sasanuma, who earlier today died at the eternal age of 18, never had a moment in which he didn't enjoy life.
He lived by the words "What's the point of living if you can't feel alive?", a line fittingly taken from the James Bond movie "The World is Not Enough". Of the many things
I was deeply moved by Lenten passage. It epitomizes what I need to strive for in my journey of faith.
In one sense I have come pretty far in that journey, for I no longer find the having of faith to be that difficult. To be sure, faith has never come easy and it probably never will, but
If I were to pick one phrase to describe the past year, it would be “The Year of Changes.”
On the professional front, I left Shearman & Sterling in May after seven and a half years at the firm in order to join Amazon in Japan. The jump from being an experienced lawyer at a
Japanese and American people are truly remarkable people, although they amaze in entirely different ways.
The Japanese excel in order and discipline.
My favorite example to illustrate this is the shugaku ryokou, which is like a field trip for an entire grade over a couple nights at some exotic location like the historical city of Kyoto or Tokyo
As I look back on the past year, which flew by even faster than usual, the biggest news for me was the retirement of The Honorable Peter E. Doyne, the Assignment Judge of the Bergen Vicinage of the Superior Court of New Jersey.
Judge Doyne was my first boss and mentor. I became his law clerk
Despite attending a prestigious university called Boston College, there are certain things that you are not entitled to.
First, you’re not entitled to any particular grade. Certainly not an A or a B, or even a C+.
Grades measure your knowledge and abilities, however imperfectly. If you exhibit superior capabilities, you get high marks. If you exhibit deficiencies,
I recently had a revelation. The day of the week that I hate the most is not the widely-detested Monday, but rather is, far and away, Wednesday.
The best day of the week is, of course, Saturdays because they're right in middle of the weekend, as defined the American way as lasting from Friday through Sunday. On Saturdays, I get to sleep
Among the many hobbies of mine, doing jigsaw puzzles is one of my most irrelevant.
My colleagues have developed an odd misconception about me and puzzles. It all began several years ago when I announced, as I was leaving on the last day of work before my winter vacation began, that I was going home
It is often said that life in a Big Wall Street Law Firm is brutal, but the only time in my professional career that I wanted to cry came when I was a law clerk under The Honorable Peter E. Doyne, then the presiding judge of the chancery division in the Bergen vicinage of the
It is hard to believe, but this past September marked three years since I transferred to Tokyo. I am entering my seventh year with my current employer, meaning that I have now worked in the Tokyo office longer than I did in New York.
I have, but that probably doesn’t come as a surprise to many of you who know how much of a narcissistic egomaniac I am.
Even if it’s in your nature to be more humble and reserved than I, I still recommend that you occasionally run a search of yourself at www.google.com, if only
I came across this article on 30 Problems That Only Introverts Understand through someone else's posting on Facebook. I understood none of the things on the list, which I presumed was because I am the opposite of an introvert.
And so I felt qualified to create the below list of 30 Problems That Only Extroverts Understand.
I recently realized how serious my critical nature has become when the first words out of my mouth to a person who had just completed making a perfectly thoughtful remark was, "But isn't it...?" Being critical has become so second nature to me that I have developed a pattern of "disagree first, think later."
After you graduate from Boston College, you'll realize that your years at Chestnut Hill shaped many aspects of your life. The liberal arts education that instilled a sense of public service is one. The life-long friendships that you formed is another.
As an underclassman, you're likely still building your circle of friends, and to those who
I grew up in the wonderful state of New Jersey. It is a source of great pride for me, but for reasons I’ll never truly understand, my source of pride seems to be an international embarrassment for most people.
Mocked as the “Armpit of America” by many Americans, the views of foreigners about the State of
Back in the early 2000s, I used to watch a syndicated television show called "Crossing Over" hosted by a man named John Edward. Edward's claim was that he is a medium who can connect the people in this world to those who have passed. On each episode of the show, he would stand center stage
As my friends can probably tell from my desperate pleas to read new posts every other Monday on Facebook, this blog does not get a lot of readers. I concede that the daily readership averages below one, and recently, the hits often don't reach double digits even on the Mondays that I put up a
I don't have a lot of regrets in my life. If forced to name them, I have a list of three to choose from, but people laughed at me the one time I talked about how I forever regret choosing to study for my constitutional law exam instead of attending my very first Brad Paisley concert,
This post is about sleep because every waking moment during the last week when I wasn't thinking about food, I was thinking about sleep. It may have something to do with the fact that I haven't gotten a decent amount of sleep on a weeknight for over a month.
A couple years ago, I tried to follow the regiment set out in Cool Running to go from a couch potato to a decent runner. I was committed enough to wake up at a god-awful hour of five in the morning to do a thrice weekly run for about six weeks before I
Of the four seasons, I hate spring the most. I try to live by the words, "Never hate, sometimes dislike," so I have reserved a very special place in my heart for the season we are currently in.
There are many reasons to hate spring, but topping the list is the fact that it is a
After three years of hard work, I know it's tempting to look at your final year in college as the last hurrah before you have to face the realities of the real world. Workdays, bills and taxes await you after graduation, and I don't blame you for wanting to make
I had one of the most deeply reflective moments about life in college in, of all places, math class, from a professor who shared a story about a failure of Johannes Kepler before he discovered that the planets orbit the sun in an elliptical curve.
Back in Kepler's days, scientists were aware of only six planets. Kepler
Being a natural overachiever, many of you will seek to become the cream of the crop of American society by obtaining a degree that's even higher than the Bachelor of Arts, like M.A., M.D., J.D., M.B.A. or Ph.D.
As an overeducated double Eagle myself, I have some experience with knowing what it takes to
John was a couple years behind me at Boston College. I don't exactly recall how we initially met, but we quickly became close friends because I was Japanese and he was interested in Japan.
John had a great laugh. He and I come from a different political mold, he of the moderate left and I of
It's unusual enough to recall a dream you had the night prior, but it's truly rare to have a dream with more or less the same story which I always recall because it's literally dé ja vu.
It goes something like this. It is the last week of classes and I am panicking because it dawns
For the longest time, I had no interest in reading.
I swear it started in high school, when novels like "The Grapes of Wrath," "Walden Pond" and "The Old Man and the Sea" sent me into temporary comas. I think my experience proves that just because a book is a "classic" doesn't mean kids in
My life consists of obsessions and it's no different with music. When I buy new music, I listen to it over and over (and over and over) again until it is playing in my head and driving me insane. I then find the next music to obsess about. Because of this, many of the songs
When I was 6-7 years old, my family would frequently go swimming at a local pool. I would swim for nearly a kilometer (for Americans, that's 0.6 miles) a day nearly everyday. Even after I went to the United States, I kept up with swimming by taking hourly swimming lessons every week. There I would
I think I was in sixth grade when I first engaged in a debate. It was at my weekly Saturday Japanese school and for reasons unclear, the topic de jour was which is better: coins or bills. For reasons even more unclear, I took the side of vigorously defending the existence of coins while my
This may come as a surprise to some people, but I don't like confrontation. Sure, I love a good argument, but I like arguing about the irrelevant stuff like politics and sports. So long as I'm neither a politician nor a general manager, such debates have zero impact in my life or the world. In
One of my first job interviews in high school was also one of the most memorable. For some reason, I was being interviewed by three people who looked like they were all in college. One guy in particular looked like a punk and he acted like it during the interview.
The food is great in Tokyo. By that I mean the taste, not the portions.
Compared to America--where they feed you like a horse--the portions at Japanese restaurants are ridiculously small. It's pretty much assured that whatever dishes the restaurant trots out as a full-course meal is insufficient to satisfy your hunger. That's why I
"Nothing is lower than the human race---except the French." --Mark Twain
A couple months ago, a Chinese person shared how she's struggling with the Japanese counting system because it had different units for different things. Counting two pencils is "ni-hon," for example, but two books is "ni-satsu." Boats are counted "ni-sou" yet larger ships are "ni-seki."
The rail system in Tokyo is so reliable you wonder how New Yorkers ever function with the disaster that's the MTA. I've never had to wait more than 10 minutes for a subway, regardless of the time of day or day of the week. There's certainty because a display tells you when the next train
It's that time of the year when people are applying to law schools.
Because I've gone through the process myself, and based on the opportunity to be on the other side of reviewing applications, I've developed certain views on what makes a good personal statement, not just for law school applications but for applications in general.
My Southern friend occasionally forwards me "You know you're a Southerner if..." e-mails. For me, many of these are list of aspirations, things I wish and hope to one day become.
My trip to Tennessee was partly to discover whether I'm cut out to be a Dixie, wearing shirts with confederate flags, speaking with a
I grew up in a quintessential, middle class New Jersey suburb. My parents, who went to college in America, were not typical Japanese expatriates. They cared little for socializing with Japanese people or Japanese pop culture and thus, I grew up with very little Japanese around me. Except for insisting that I attend Japanese school
Blaine Larsen's “In My High School” is one of my favorite songs. It’s a soothing melody that reflects on what life and people were like in high school.
I wish I can say that the song brings back memories, but the song says nothing about juvenile delinquents who knew of no etiquette, decency or common sense
A friend of mine works at a small satellite office of a major law firm. He had only been there a couple months but had been been miserable because one of the partners was an intolerable ass.
Recently, his work life suddenly improved even though his hours got dramatically worse: the partner in question left the
I'll never forget the professor in my Legal Writing class in my first year of law school who said that English majors struggle mightily in the class. It was a moment I realized that lawyers are one of the worst writers out of professionals whose job primarily revolves around writing. Lawyers use "effect" as a
The pictures and videos are all you need to understand that Japan has a long and painful road ahead even before the recovery can begin. But for now, I am thankful that family, friends, and everyone I know in Japan are safe.
When something like this happens to a place and people you know very well,
A couple months ago, I defended lawyers. To show that I can make myself even more lovable, today I defend my educational background, which I thought spoke for itself. For this show of narcissism that's paralleled, y'all can thank my office neighbor, who, upon hearing the details of my academic history, questioned whether I slipped through the
The managing partner of my firm's Tokyo office once said that he considered anyone who claimed to be bilingual to be a liar. Bilingual himself, he was being facetious, but he had an underlying point that I completely shared: bilingualism just means that you're imperfect in two languages.
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." --John 20:29
The story of the doubting Thomas is my favorite passage from the bible. It was a favorite passage when I lacked faith because I was a Thomas who needed to see
I think one of the most troubling flaws of American society is its inability to distinguish "should" from "could." To put another way, we seem to have fatal flaw in saying just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should, and just because you shouldn't do something doesn't mean you couldn't.
It may come as a shock to you (and your parents who are footing the enormous tuition), but the purpose of your Boston College education is not to ensure that you have a job after you graduate.
During my high school senior year college application process, a teacher advised me not to go to school in the South. "You're Asian and you're Catholic," he warned, inferring neither is particularly welcome down in the land of the Dixie. I dutifully complied, with my most southern application going to Washington D.C., rest to the
I'm ignorant about many things, but I hide it well by talking more and louder. But one thing even that can't hide is my lack of vocabulary.
As I've written before, the so-called advice I received to overcome this challenge in high school, like don't bother reading ("look up every word you don't know in
My parents are typical Asian parents. They are controlling and overbearing. That I was their oldest--and only--son probably didn't help much.
I think it's psychologically healthy for every child to go through a rebellious period against his or her parents (within means, of course), but I fear I missed out on that experience when I had
It's sad to know that I've reached a point and career in my life where no one bothers to invite me to fill out a bracket unless I beg. So I just created a league and cajoled my colleagues to join. As
I think the best advice I can give anyone about stocks is "buy what you understand."
This mnemonic is easily confused with its deceptive cousin "Buy what you know." People--and I used to be one of them--are fond of buying stocks of companies that they "know," usually from using the company's products but sometimes from something
I'm often asked, generally in Japan, which language I'm more comfortable with, English or Japanese. Since my subconscience* (i.e. my dreams) has been in English for years, the answer to the question is obvious.
That answer, though, is actually a matter of relativity. Just because English is my better language doesn't mean I'm a good English
A two and a half week absence from my blog has left me with mixed feelings: the gratification in knowing people follow my blog but resignation in knowing they're only interested in my politics. For those who kindly encouraged me to break my silence as Ted Kennedy died and Japan went through an Obama-esque "change,"
Me and sports, we have a mutual understanding. Our relationship is fine so long as I don't cross a certain line. That not-so-thin line between observing and playing.
I'd like to whack the person who came up with the saying "practice makes perfect"--and slap anyone who continues to use it. Practice ain't no good when you've
Today is my birthday, or rather, yesterday was my birthday. Some may say it's sad to be spending the beginning of the anniversary day of your birth at the office and still be at the office when the day ends, but those are people who likely weren't born in August.
One of the perks of my current job is that I get to travel a lot on someone else's dime. No, I don't get to enjoy whatever that location has to offer, but I get to color in another state and that's pretty cool.
A while back, I got to cross off Missouri and Kansas off
I like history, but not necessarily social science. I don't particularly care for Geography and predictably I'm not particularly good at it.
I find it appalling that 1/3 of Americans can't identify China on an unmarked world map, but then, I'm in no position to critique. I took a mini Japanese Geography quiz at juku, my
My father currently runs the family business called Ryphan Industry Co., Ltd.
Founded in 1940 by my grandfather and my great-grandfather, Ryphan is a trading company dealing with plastic packaging used in tube-shaped foods like salamis and sausages. The company has a fleeting connection to American baseball. One of our biggest customers is Nippon Ham, Japan's largest
For better or for worse, I seem to leave a distinct impression on people, although I can't tell whether the impression I leave is good or bad. One week into my foray into law school at the particularly liberal Rutgers of Newark, people started coming up to me and saying, "So you're the new conservative,
The happiest moment of my life was when I got a 600 on SAT verbal. You may say it doesn't take much to make me happy, but you'd be missing my point. The statement is a reflection on my life-long struggle to achieve competence in verbalism, be it in English or Japanese.
The church I attended on Sunday was very nice. Of all the churches I've been to, I think I felt most comfortable there.
The pastor who gave the service on Sunday at Saint Frances de Sales Parish on the corner of 96th and Lexington was a man of a booming voice whom God did not bless with
My college professor once sarcastically remarked that I'm a collector. That I am. I don't just collect the popular, and the more common sensical, baseball cards or foreign money. No, no. I collect crap like movie stubs and hotel card keys (which I eventually stopped because I realized that's not crap, it's trash).
James Bond is a cool name because it's short, crisp and balanced. The last is important. You can't suavely pull off a "Bond, James Bond" if it's "Bondessville, Jim Bondessville."
My name, on the other hand, is long and unbalanced, with a one syllable first name and a four syllable last name.
My sister, that bored nincompoop, created Note in Facebook with a list of 25 random facts about herself and then created a "rule" under which an unfortunate soul who was tagged will have to do the same thing. Presumably this is the most modern rendition of the cursed chain letter so the failure to respond
It's been about three months since I moved to an apartment in New York City, but I haven't shared my NYC address with too many people. Bank statements and bills related to my NYC life comes to my apartment, but I haven't changed my mailing address save for Sports Illustrated, my reading during commute. (I
It's that time of the year again when college and grad school applicants are beginning to get anxious. Law schools, with their rolling admissions, tend to decide the fate of the applicants several weeks earlier than others.
I am happy to report that the two friends I know were applying to law schools were admitted to
My family's home in New Jersey has received quite a technology upgrade over the last three months, culminating with the iMac replacing the five and a half year old eMac as my mom's main computer.
The initial process began in October when I moved to NYC. I needed a wireless hub and the one I got
I got into Facebook rather late. I'm wondering whether it's a generational thing. I call people who were (or are) attending college four to five years after me (that is, while I was in law school) the "Facebook generation because they have distinctly different online habits than I do. The Facebook generation don't know the
I received this week's issue of Sports Illustrated yesterday. I read SI on my commute, always in the same order: the back page column, the front page photos, and then the "Players" section, which is increasingly becoming my favorite after the departure of columnist Rick Reilly.
When you're an attorney, you're almost expected to be published. In two law-related jobs that I've held, one of the first questions I was asked was "Were you on a law journal?" I managed to survive at the law firm and with the judge despite my answer in the negative, but I could always see
I ordered a sandwich at the firm's cafeteria and the guy gave me my order by saying, "Here you go, Sir." It was deja vu. Three years ago, when I was in law school, I ordered a sub at the dining hall on main campus (where undergrads eat) and I was
$10 million for each ACC team? Wow that's a lot of cash. And I know exactly where that $10 million went. A million bucks on a staircase and now $10 million on a building that's already standing... Hmmm... All kidding aside, $10 million on restoration of Gasson Hall is a money well spent. The building
I don't think you can say you've become an official member of the firm until you have your profile posted on the firm's website. Alas, I am now, officially, an Associate with the firm of Shearman & Sterling.
I started getting a subscription to Sports Illustrated right after the Patriots won its first Super Bowl. Ever since then, I've been dutifully paying the annual $100 or so annual subscription fee, but truth be told, I never similarly dutifully read the magazine. The darn thing kept on coming every week, some issues (notably the
I suffer from an extreme case of inferiority complex.
The condition manifests itself in many ways, the most obvious in my refusal to stand close to a person who is taller than I am. My height--at 6'1''--is my most redeemable quality. Putting aside the fact that I was never able to redeem the quality--lack of athleticism
My dad sent a random e-mail yesterday, reminding me of the series of unfortunate events that have been taking place:
1) The Yankess did not make the playoffs;
2) The Patriots, sans Brady, is mediocre at best ten months after blowing the Super Bowl; and
3) The GOP got whacked earlier this month.
Recalling dreams is rare, but I remember two from last night.
In the first, Sarah Palin announced that she has "resigned" as the running mate of John McCain two days before the election, a belated "October surprise." I haven't the slightest doubt this dream was triggered by this article from CNN. I also vaguely recall McCain
In a chain of conversation even I am not sure of how it transpired, the dinner conversation tonight focused on a fun game/debate, "Is this a sport"?
The following were "sports" which either became a subject during dinner or which I think are somewhat dubious as a "sport." Tell me what you think--I've added my own
