My Dream is to Become the Ben Affleck of the Matt Damon-Ben Affleck Duo (Part I of II)
My dream is to become the Ben Affleck of the Matt Damon-Ben Affleck duo.
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, allow me to depict the origins of their stardom, presented in a movie screenplay format:
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FADE IN:
EXT. [“EXT” means “outdoors”] COURTYARD AT HARVARD COLLEGE – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
CUT TO:
INT. [“INT” means “indoors”] A TYPICAL DORM ROOM, WITH TWO SMALL BEDS AND TWO DESKS. SEVERAL MOVIE POSTERS ARE HANGING ON ONE SIDE OF THE ROOM, WHERE MATT DAMON, IN HIS THIRD YEAR AT HARVARD COLLEGE, TYPES AWAY ON HIS PC.
SFX [“SFX” means “sound effects”]: A BANGING ON THE DOOR
BEN (O.S. [“OS” means “off screen”])
Hey Matt, it’s Ben. Let me in.
Matt turns towards the door, visibly annoyed. He then turns back towards the PC and gets ready to resume typing.
MATT
What’d’ya want, Ben? I’m really busy.
BEN (O.S.)
Don’t be like that, bro. It’s 1 A.M. in the morning. What could you possibly be doing?
MATT
I can’t go out tonight. I’m writing a screenplay.
Matt’s facial expression immediately shows he regrets what he just said.
BEN (O.S.)
A screenplay? No way! Why didn’t you tell me you were working on a script. Let me see!
SFX: MORE BANGING, THIS TIME LOUDER
MATT
Will you stop banging on the door? You’re gonna annoy the guys next door. They already hate you.
SFX: BANGING BECOMES EVEN LOUDER
BEN (O.S.)
Fuck those guys. Just shut up and let me in.
Matt sighs, hits CTRL-S and stares at the monitor to make sure the file saved. He gets up, walks to the door and opens it. He sees Ben, who is visibly wasted.
MATT
What’re you doing here on a Tuesday night? Shouldn’t you be at your own school?
BEN
Nah, I’m bailing on class tomorrow. Let me see the script you’re working on.
Ben stumbles to Matt’s desk, sits down, takes the mouse and starts scrolling up.
BEN
Dude, you already have like 100 pages of this thing. How much more do you have to go?
Matt, who’s now standing behind Ben, gives an annoyed look.
MATT
What do you care?
BEN
You see here, where it says “Screenplay by Matt Damon”? You have to add me here.
MATT
Why the hell would I do that?
BEN
Because we’ve been best friends since like we were eight, man. You’ve got to get me on this script.
MATT
But you haven’t done anything.
BEN
What’re you talking about? We’ve been to auditions together, been in movies together. I’m your inspiration, man. Give me credit as your inspiration.
MATT
But you don’t have anything to do with this script.
BEN
Come on, man! We’ve been best buddies since we were kids. You’ve got to make me a part of this. It’s not that hard. Here, let me do it for you.
Ben starts typing on the keyboard.
BEN
“and-Ben-Affleck.” You see, easy!
MATT
Fine, ok, you put your name in. Will you now leave? I was in the middle of this before you showed up.
BEN
Fine, fine! I’ll leave you to it. Make sure you have a role for me in this thing. I can play this guy Chuckie. It says he’s Will’s dumb but lovable best friend. He’s modeled after me, right?
MATT
Will you fucking leave?
Matt grabs Ben’s collar, drags him out and slams the door, visibly angry.
CUT TO:
INT: IT’S TEN YEARS LATER AT THE LAVISH ACADEMY AWARDS AND JACK LEMMON AND WALTER MATTHAU JUST ANNOUNCED THAT MATT HAS WON THE OSCAR FOR BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY FOR “GOOD WILL HUNTING.” HE LOOKS AT BEN, WHO WAS ALSO NAMED THE WINNER, WITH SHOCK AND DISBELIEF.
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This is how Ben Affleck propelled himself to stardom: by leveraging his childhood with a really smart, gifted friend.
