10 Lesson I Never Learned (And Why I’m No Jeremy Lin)

There’s Linsanity sweeping across Limerica.  Even Forbes magazine has gotten into the Linsanity by posting 10 lessons we can all learn from Jeremy’s Linspiration.  I read the list and realized why, although also tall and Asia, I’m no Jeremy Lin:

1. Believe in yourself when no one else does.  

Because words like “vanity” and “narcissism” have been used to describe me, I suspect believing in myself is one place where I don’t fall short of Jeremy Lin.  Of course, what separates my buddy Jeremy from me is (1) Jeremy is fueled by others not believing in him and (2) he backs up his belief in himself with actual skill.  My best skill is talking out of my ass, which, unless I decide to follow in the footsteps of Bill Maher, is not a particularly useful skill.  Regardless, I’m completely oblivious to those around me so I care not whether others believe in me and have even less interest in proving others wrong.  Either way, it still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have a car.  (“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)).

2. Seize the opportunity when it comes up.

To seize the opportunity when it comes up, you have to realize you’re facing an opportunity.  Let’s be honest here.  It was obvious for Jeremy when he was given the opportunity because his ass was no longer on the bench and all he needed to do was put couple baskets through the hoop.  I’m not sure what constitutes an opportunity in my much more mundane daily life of facing off against a computer screen.  Regardless, I’m pretty sure I haven’t let an opportunity slip by.  I think I would have remembered a Hollywood producer calling.

3. Your family will always be there for you, so be there for them.

My sister’s first words, when she learned that I was transferring to Tokyo, was “Can I have your iPad?”  How touching.  I guess my sister will offer me her closet if I ever needed to crash at her place, just like how I would offer her the bathroom floor if she ever needed to crash at mine.

4. Find the system that works for your style.

No thanks.  Since I’m a genius and I have no weaknesses, how about the system just adjust to my style because clearly, the system that works best is my system.  If people have a problem with that, well, it’s not my problem that people can’t recognize and work with the brilliance that is me.

5. Don’t overlook talent that might exist around you today on your team.

The lesson here is apparently that I shouldn’t judge people on some unfounded assumptions.  Well, for one thing, being judgmental is what I do best.  But more importantly, if the book is good enough, they’ll put a good cover on it.  If the person has failed once, “the only second chance is a chance to make the same mistake twice.”  (“State and Main” (2000)).  And certainly, “white men can’t jump.”  (1992)

6. People will love you for being an original, not trying to be someone else.

Yes, I know.  What’s not to love?

7. Stay humble. 

Okay, I confess–humility is not my strong suit.  My goal in life is to be seen in every newspaper, magazine and TV show, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in every country in the world.  When that inevitable day arrives, you will know about it because I will call each of you individually to let you know.  And there’s no need to thank me for the autographed copy of each newspaper and magazine with me on the cover that I will send you.

8. When you make others around you look good, they will love you forever.

Or, others can work to make me look better and I may, if I feel like it, love others once.  Life is a tradeoff.  You get to work with a genius like me and in return, you get to work hard to make me look even better.

9. Never forget about the importance of luck or fate in life.

One of my favorite quotes is “Chance favors the prepared mind.”  That I live by this inspirational quote is appropriate because it is attributed to the microbiologist named Louis Pasteur who invented vaccines, a slightly less genius compared to me.  That I picked up this quote from “Under Siege 2:  Dark Territory” (1995) only increases the prestige of the quote.

10. Work your butt off.

My goal when I got out of high school was to retire by 20.  My goal when I got out of college was to retire by 25.  My goal when I got out of law school was to retire by 30.  Now that I’ve past a certain milestone in my age, my goal is to retire by 35.  I do work my butt off, but only so that my butt can stay in a couch for the rest of my life as soon as possible. And I expect others, including Jeremy Lin, to get me there.