About Joe

Joe is complicated.

He is defined by his opinions, even if he gives little thought to them.

He treasures his friends, but thinks most of them, who happen to be liberal, are clueless.

He always sports two watches, but neither is useful for telling time.

He loves watching movies and critiquing them, but insists the best movie franchise in the history of mankind is the James Bond series.

He believes in politicians with principles, but believes the problem with politics is mostly the voters.

His passion extends to sports, particularly football, but the best he could accomplish athletically was becoming the most important bench player on his high school tennis team.

He hates Wednesdays and also spring, but loves the winter.

He loathes indecent people, but he himself was a terrible juvenile delinquent.

He mocks the French, even though he barely knows English words and can’t pronounce them.

He loves dreams, but doesn’t have the aspirational kind.

He’s addicted to the stock market, yet insists the love for the market has no relation to his love of gambling.

He’s quite knowledgable about airplanes, but only because he’s obsessed with airplane accidents.

He grew up in the proud state of New Jersey, but thinks he’s a Southerner.

He doesn’t like being called bilingual, but he’s caught between Japanese and American cultures that excel differently.

He graduated from Boston College and wanted to stay there for law school, but he planned perfectly for rejection from the latter.

He believes in a liberal arts education, but there’s doubt whether he actually received it.

He learned his craft as an attorney from a great mentor, although he didn’t follow in his mentor’s footsteps.

He intends to live forever, but has prepared for death just in case by writing his own obituary.

He has faith in God, but is aware his judgmental nature does not square with Him.

And above all, he loves himself.