My Dream is to Become the Ben Affleck of the Matt Damon-Ben Affleck Duo (Part II of II)
It’s what I call fame through association, and it’s exactly what I want.
This is why I’m gregarious with every new person I meet, try to become best friends with everybody I form a bond with, and never turn down an opportunity to hang out with anyone who offers. There’s no way for me to know in advance who in my circle will become famous. I need to hedge my bets with everyone so that when a person I know does becomes famous, I’m in a position to be the Ben Affleck to his/her Matt Damon.
Sadly, none of my acquiantences have even sniffed 15 minutes of fame. I have friends who are lawyers and doctors, professors and politicians, entrepreneurs and entertainers. I’m sure what they’ve accomplished are impressive in their own right, but nothing they’ve done comes remotely close to making me famous.
There is one friend I have hope for, though.
He’s someone I’ve known since high school who got into movies during college and wrote a script based on a book called The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. It’s a novel written in the early 20th century about horrible working conditions in a meat factory.
Why my friend chose to write a screenplay based on this book is beyond me. I’ve never read the novel but I’m pretty sure it’s boring, judging by its length. I gave my friend’s script a read, though, because I figured it’s a good way to be able to pretend to have read the book when I’m around intellectuals.
At the end of my reading, I gave my friend an invaluable feedback. “You can’t call this movie ‘The Jungle,'” I told to him. “The audience will think it’s some action adventure flick that takes place in the Brazilian amazon.”
I didn’t stop there. I even proposed an alternative title: “Chicago Will be Ours.” It’s the move’s last line that one of the exploited immigrant laborers yells as he takes to the streets to rise up against the evil capitalists. It’s catchy, memorable and relevant. It’s perfect.
Based on the precedent set by the Damon-Afflect duo, this contribution is certainly worthy of a screenwriting credit. All Ben Affleck did was stumble into Matt’s dorm room and type his name into the script. I provided my friend the title, the most important element in any screenplay.
My buddy has been saying for years that the script needs more work. In the meantime, he’s gotten married, got promoted, and had a kid. I wish he’d get his priorities straight and just finalize the darn thing.
Because when “Chicago Will be Ours” finally gets made into a film, it’s going to be an epic. It’ll sweep the Oscars that year, and you’ll hear my name called as the winner for Best Adopted Screenplay.
You’ll see me on screen accepting the award with my friend, and that’s when you know I finally made it in life.
