To Antonio, My Newly-Married Friend: Let’s Hang Out Soon, and God Bless
Dear Antonio,
When I think about our friendship, I obviously start with our shared high school experience.
Ah, those memories from teenage years. There’s no end to the stories of how terribly we used to behave, most especially to teachers. Yeah we were terribly juvenile, but the stuff we used to do back then were pretty witty, and they remain fairly funny now. I love how some of the best times we have together today involve cracking up reminiscing about those days.
You know what I think is awesome? It’s that, after all these years, even after my career has taken me to the other side of the world, we still somehow find a way to hang out with the rest of the gang once in a while.
Of course, for the life of me I can never recall the specifics of what we talk about, even after spending a good couple of hours together. We must be starting out each time with the obligatory What-have-you-been-up-to chat to catch up on the times we’ve missed, and there must be a dose of political talk because somehow we always end up there, but as far as I can tell, it’s always mostly just a lot of banter.
I would’t have it any other way, because really, it’s your company that makes the get-togethers so great. Amidst all the noise and rancor provided by yours truly, you offer a calming, reflective presence. In case there was any doubt, I always do take note of your thoughtful remarks, although, I confess, much of it is probably wasted on me.
As I attended the celebration of your matrimony with Bethany, I thought about all the irrelevance that makes our friendship great, but I also had a couple, slightly deeper thoughts.
The first was the rather obvious realization that we’re a member of the same profession.
We don’t engage in much shop talk beyond the conversation of How-have-you-been-lately, and that’s a bit of a shame.
For one, I always look forward to hearing from you about what it’s like to practice “real law” (that’s read: “law that takes place in an actual courtroom”) in the great state of New Jersey. After all, the world you’re practicing in now is the place where I started my career in an unforgettable fashion, and in my heart, I never completely left.
More importantly, I’d always sensed that you came into the profession with far more thought than I. We never had a long, deep conversation that started with “Hey, what made you want to become a lawyer?” and ending with “what do you want to accomplish as an attorney?,” and I’m not entirely sure why. Amongst my many lawyer friends, you’re probably the guy who can provide me with the greatest insight into questions about the profession of law that borders on the existential.
The other thought I had was about faith.
We’ve never really talked about this topic in all the years we’ve known each other. We probably should but I doubt we ever will. As important of a role as faith plays in defining who I am, I’m immensely uncomfortable talking about something that’s so personal and introspective.
And so it is that I go through the struggles of faith mostly on my own, having found the blessing of faith but finding it quite difficult to internalize it.
Through this daily challenge, I find solace and strength from those who have faith far stronger than mine. In the inspirational examples of others, I gain guidance on how to exhibit faith and live a life consistent with the calling of Christ.
An example like you and Bethany.
What I’m happiest for the both of you is that you share the strongest foundation on which to build a life-long relationship.
You need love of course, but it was easy to see that you two have that aplenty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a smile as big as those on your wedding day.
Congratulations, my friend, and thanks for inviting me to be a part of your celebration as you and Bethany begin a life that, I prey, will be filled with much love and faith.
And as for us, I’ll look forward to the next time we get together, when no doubt there will be much irrelevance but hopefully also some depth and reflection, even if just a little.
Sincerely,
Joe
