To Jon, My Newly-Married Friend: Thanks for the Lifelong Friendship

Jon,

When I think of lifelong friendships, I think about us.

You’re probably the oldest friend I have.  You’ve known me since the days I barely spoke English, which is hard to believe because these days, I have trouble convincing people that I speak another language.

There’s something unique about a childhood friendship.  It’s formed before we become identified by the careers we pursue, the colleges we attend or the political ideology we develop.  It’s a friendship formed from eating lunch and walking to class together, and in that, there’s a distinctive sense of innocence that makes it quite special.

The fact that the celebration ultimately ended up at your parents’ place was so fitting.  I remember your old home on Winters Street, but I actually recall more the memories from the time I spent at your parents’ current home.  As I sat sipping on wine in the living room, I recalled that’s where you first introduced me to classics like “The Godfather” and “All the President’s Men.”  I’m realizing it for the first time as I write this, but you played a major role in my developing an artistic appreciation for film by expanding my taste beyond the James Bond and Die Hard franchises.

In fact, you had a huge impact in numerous aspects of my life, which isn’t all that surprising because you were my closest friend during the more formative years.  You got me interested in genetics with Michael Crichton and in law with John Grisham, the latter of which probably played some part in my eventually pursuing my current career.  You also exposed me to various types of music, although in this case I decided to go in a completely different path because, quite frankly, I couldn’t stand the stuff you were listening to.  I digress, but I take great pleasure in the fact that you’re now forced to listen to country music because of Vera.

I also got quite nostalgic tagging along with you for a trip to downtown Oakland to prepare for the party.  I was amazed at how much the town we grew up in had changed–and how much it hadn’t.  We headed to Shoprite, which had always been there, and drove past the restaurant Portobello, which was still there, but Monticello (do you remember that Italian restaurant?) seemed long gone.  Along the way, I thought about how we used to walk back home together on the same road that we were driving on, and you recalled how, in the winter, we used to make small cash by shoveling snow in the neighborhood driveways.

But the greatest thing about the day was how I got front row seats watching you and Vera save the day from an unmitigated disaster.

It’s not every wedding celebration that the venue gets knocked out of power because of a nor’easter, only hours before the guests are scheduled to arrive.  For most couples that would amount to a cataclysmic catastrophe, but you and Vera remained impressively composed, working in concert to put together an entirely new party in just under two hours.

As I watched you and Vera make (more than) the best of the crazy situation, it occurred to me that I’ve never seen you get overly animated.  In all the years I’ve known you, I was always the excited one and you were the calm one, albeit with a hint of mischievousness.  If you recall, much of our time together in middle school involved your annoying me and then taking great joy as I got riled up.

It doesn’t seem like that’s the relationship you have with Vera, which is probably for the best.

Vera showed why she’s so awesome on that day.  I love how she takes everything in stride, just like you, while most people in her position would have gotten hysterical or cried in disbelief.  I love how she loves your parents, regarding whom I have nothing but fond memories.  I love how she’s always so amicable and respectful, even to a clueless person like me.  And I love how whenever we three get together, even in the conceivably worst of times, I feel she perfectly belongs.

Congratulations, my friend, on finding the perfect match.  It’s hard to believe that you’re now married, but I guess that’s what it feels like when you’ve known someone for as long as I’ve known you and the relationship feels the same today as it did those many years ago.

Thanks for inviting me to your celebration and allowing me to observe first hand the special relationship you two have.

Here’s to you and Vera–and the lifelong friendship amongst the three of us.

Forever your friend,

Joe

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