The Awkward “Friendships” on Facebook

I got into Facebook rather late.  I’m wondering whether it’s a generational thing.  I call people who were (or are) attending college four to five years after me (that is, while I was in law school) the “Facebook generation because they have distinctly different online habits than I do.  The Facebook generation don’t know the time before e-mail and the Internet; they grew up with a computer and instant access to everything.   To people who are older than I am, I probably appear to be in the same generation as they are, but as I’ve written before, I’m starting to feel old and one thing’s for sure:  those who are 4-5 years younger than me are not old.

I’m digressing here, because this post was not supposed to be a rehash of how I want to remain 18 forever.  Instead, I was hoping someone could shed light on the peculiarity I’m discovering about “friends” on facebook.

One of the nicest attributes of Facebook–or so I initially thought–was that I could get in touch with people from my past long ago.  I attended public grammar and middle school but went to a private high school, and I lost touch with most people from the pre-high school era.  I never particularly sought to get back in touch with these people, but Facebook provided an easy, passive way to become reacquainted.  You could search through people by high school and class, or even easier through the “People You May Know” feature.

And in this way, I’ve once again become “friends” with numerous people from times well back.  With many of these new buddies, I’d wanted to catch up and develop a (re)new friendship.

But apparently, there’s a very clear demarcation between a Facebook “friend” and real friend.  Most of the time, my Facebook message or AIM message has gone unheeded or responded to only once.

Quite frankly, it makes me sad.  I grew up with a lot of these people.  Over the years, I, like them, have met different people and made new friends, but that doesn’t lessen the emotional attachment to past  friendships waned.  I would like to become friends with these people again or for the first time.  There have been people that I weren’t close to the first time, either in high school or college, but became closer the second time our lives crossed paths.  Perhaps I’m a bit too sentimental, but I like meeting people and increasing the bonds of friendships.  It’s a shame that Facebook, where I thought I would have the most opportunity to do this, just appears to be a place where you can boast how many popular you are, rather than how many “friends” you have.

I’ve accepted the Facebook for what it is, and have increased my “friend” requests and confirmations to people I really didn’t know, care to know, or ever knew.  (A guy recently asked to be my friend because we happen to share a last name.  That’s just bizarre but I said yes).

At the same time, though, the significance I attach to the site has greatly decreased.  In essence, it’s been reduced to where I announce new blog postings.